Start small — and hold firm. A short rule kept faithfully every day is worth more than a long one you abandon.
A prayer rule is not measured by its length but by its faithfulness. Below are seven practical principles, drawn from the Fathers, for forming the habit of prayer so that, in time, it becomes not a chain but a support — the riverbed without which prayer runs dry.
The great mistake of zeal is to take on a large rule all at once and then, a week or two later, to overstrain and give it up. A short rule that you actually keep every day is better than a long one you keep breaking. Five minutes daily is surer than an hour once a week.
The brief rule of St. Seraphim of Sarov is not an indulgence for the lazy but a wise starting point: better something small and unbroken. And once the small thing has taken root, it can be increased little by little.
This is the very meaning of the word “rule”: it does not depend on whether inspiration is present. There will be dry days when you do not feel like praying and the words do not echo in the heart — and it is precisely faithfulness on those days that is real prayer, more than prayer offered when you are uplifted.
Do not measure success by the warmth of your feelings. The Fathers warn plainly against chasing after experiences. Steadfastness in dryness is more pleasing to God than the fervor of the inconstant.
The habit is born from a steady routine. Make your rule the first thing after waking and the last thing before sleep — before the day pulls you into its bustle and before tiredness overcomes you.
A place helps too: a prayer corner with icons that itself calls you to prayer. Body and habit are not enemies of the spirit here but a support; to “train yourself” means, in large part, to anchor prayer to these natural points of the day, so that it comes almost of itself.
No one begins with a marathon. You take on a small, manageable load, but you keep it regularly; consistency matters more than one-time intensity. There is a dull “middle of the distance” that you simply have to endure — and at some point what was once an effort becomes second nature. With prayer it is exactly the same.
Read unhurriedly, entering into the words — better in a low voice or a whisper, which itself gathers the mind. When you are distracted, calmly return, without irritation at yourself. St. Ignatius (Brianchaninov) insisted that the mind must be enclosed in the words of the prayer, without daydreaming or play of the imagination.
And by all means — understand what you are reading. A beginner should go through the Church Slavonic text of the prayers beforehand, with a translation, so that they become his own and do not remain a set of sounds.
This matters most of all for forming the habit. If you miss a day, do not fall into despondency and do not throw up your hands (“I’ve already broken it anyway”). It is precisely through a single lapse that the enemy nudges you to abandon everything. Get up and go on as if nothing had happened.
At the same time, distinguish a reasonable shortening of the rule by circumstance (illness, children, travel) — which is normal and done with a blessing — from simple laziness looking for excuses.
So that the rule does not remain merely two “brackets” at the edges of the day with God forgotten in between, it is good to weave short prayers and the Jesus Prayer into the day — even a few times, on the road, at work.
This is that most ancient, pre-written form of the rule, and the direct path to the apostolic “pray without ceasing.” In this way the prayer rule stops being a separate “task” and gradually saturates the whole of life.
All of this is done with the blessing of a spiritual father, who will help set the measure and change it as you grow. Training yourself takes time and patience; do not expect an instant transformation.
But the habit, once rooted, becomes not a chain but a support — the riverbed without which prayer dries up.
“Pray without ceasing.”1 Thessalonians 5:17
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